This year, my holiday season, like most of yours, I presume, is filled with finding perfect little gifts for the perfect little people of our lives...no pressure, of course. And try as we may, it usually ends up the case that we either: a) don’t get all of our shopping done until the last minute or b) we put such fierce stress on ourselves from Black Friday on in, that we freak out and buy out costco.com’s online clearance before Saturday. In either case, it can’t be good so it certainly can’t be healthy. As much as we want to make the situation all about the giving with love, even the most mall-savvy shopper can become beleaguered by the quest and find it hard to motivate to action.
So, I’ve taken a moment, right here, right now to show to you a few items i’ve encountered this holiday season. When I’m feelin’ worn down from the endless googling, when i just can’t seem to flip through the pages fast enough, I will inevitably find something so curious that I can’t help but to stumble into laughter. From Best Buy to Campmor, Target to L.L. Bean, I’ve scoured the catalogs--i know, but they just keep coming--and I’ve surfed all the sites, i’ve even braved a few local retail shops. The search for my psychological freedom has been close. But until I do find release, I can bask in the delight of having found these precious treasures. And now you can too.
My first find is apparently the “original” Snuggie. (Don’t laugh, we’ve all thought it was a good idea at least once.) But, this is not a Snuggie, it’s a Slanket. I bet you’re saying, now, besides the usual cheesiness, what’s so fab about a Snuggie? Well, my friend, the best thing about this Slanket: it travels. Oh. Wait, what? That’s right. Travel Slanket. This one can be put in the car, carried on the train, tucked under the arm for a walk, or taken on the aero-plane...unlike the orignal Slanket that cannot travel, for it is afraid!!!! Seriously? Travel Slanket? What the gees?!? I get the Slanket: you sit, you get cold, you get warm with Slanket, you wanna be able to channel surf without getting cold again. It’s brilliant. But it’s downright gimmicky to promote a product that is only minutely smaller than its orginal counterpart--i mean, it’s still full body length--no matter how cute it’s travel bag. You be the judge.
The second item I found was less than eye catching. You see, for many who do not know, I practice the skill of carpentry in addition to songstry. So safety glasses are pretty much a given for me. However, where the weirdness really starts to feel special, where that fine line between clever idea and bad joke really begins to blur is when the front of the catalog reads “Sur la table”-- not “Lowe’s”, not “Sears”--a kitchen store? For these were not safety glasses that I gazed upon; these were onion goggles. These ridiculous eye protecting goggles shield our sensitive eyes from the tears of green onion, red onion, yellow onion, white onion and even shallots! Yay. No more tears... just like Johnson & Johnson. Terrific. I still find it difficult to believe, though, that this is on someone’s wish list. Really?!?! Should I expect my brother-in-law to see these goggles at a New Year’s Sale at Kohl’s and wonder why no one thought to give a pair to him? Is it that tough to keep a candle nearby. “No, wait, honey, the onion goggles go on the top rack.” I have one word: wow.
What else, what else. Oh course, I’m drawing a blank as I sit and type, but you get what I mean, yes??? Duluth Trading Company has another good one, milk crates. Remember when you were a kid and you’d find those milk crates tucked in the corner of your garage with the words “Property of” such-and-such dairy, and then you’d wonder why they were in your garage. Well, Duluth has now saved us all. They are offering real-deal milk crates! The best part is, of course, that they can be legally yours.... for almost $15 a pop. You’ve never been so excited. Tell me, why would you ever *pay* for a milk crate, when you can just snag one. Really. No, I’m serious. Why pay?
Dear, oh, dear. In any case, this is just a snippet of how my season is floating by thus far. I do hope you have found some holiday relief in these few passages. The season is too short to spend it in distress!
I will try me bestest to be a better blogger in the upcoming months and years. It’s been too long. I’ve missed you. And let's be honest. I sometimes have a lot to say.
As for music, keep your ears open.... And to all a happy holiday time. Sweet.
